Spirit of Africa

One of my greatest wishes for Leah, Nicole and Simone is that one day they get to meet Nelson Mandela……………… , we had so much fun on Friday evening, we were celebrating Madibas 90th birthday and dancing to the grooves of the 46664 concert which was held in London and was live in our living room!!!!

As the kids were dancing to a very famous South African song, I realized that my girls were lucky enough to be born into a FREE South Africa, but our South Africa still has LOTS of healing to deal with!!!!!!!!!!!! and althoug I still think about leaving my home country I realize that part of me, my culture and heritage would only become memories.

So I pray for South Africa, and I pray that God will heal our land and guide our leaders so that one day my girls will feel what I feel for this beautiful piece of heaven I call home, and I have decided to add the song that makes us proud to be South African!!!!!!!!!

Please pray for baby Mia.

I received a phone call from a lady named Carla, she is 24 weeks pregnant with a baby girl they have named Mia, at her 21week scan baby Mia was diagnosed with C-CAM, the doctors have not given Mia much hope, and Carla’s situation takes me back to when I was faced with the same feeling of helpless  and a pain that no mother would understand unless they were in that situation before, now Blog moms I know that you can relate to this mom and I ask you to keep Carla and her Husband and baby Mia in your prayers. They need all the prayers they can get to help them through this difficult time.And if you know more about this diagnosis please do not hesitate to contact me.

love and hugs


My Husband, my best friend………

Lovable, huggable, full of life, funny, caring, understanding. These are just a few words I would use to describe my husband Ashley.

I have been asked, “ How do you know when you are with the right person” my answer to that” You just know”. Its funny the way life works out some times, we were both in relationships with other people when we met, we were part of a group of friends who would meet regularly for dinner and a movie, little did I know that, the big guy on the other end of the table would be my husband one day!!!

As time moved on, our lives moved in different directions, Ashley ended the relationship he was in at that time, and I ended mine would. I often called Ashley just to catch up and say hi, we would talk for hours about anything and everything he even had the patients to listen to all my whining and complaining. One day I had to be out of town for a few days and I promised him I would drop by and say goodbye before I left…………………… when I got to his place he opened the door and hugged me, kissed me on the cheek and told me to call as soon as I reached my destination………… that was it for me, it was love at first hug!!!!! When I returned from that trip we were inseparable and we still are. Our relationship just flourished and 8 months later we were married, and 5 months later Nicole was born. (Sorry mom!!! He, he, he)

Ashley is an amazing father, he has been instrumental in Simone’s life ………those two just love each other to bits and he accepted her as if she was his own, she often gets squashed by those big daddy hugs………….Daddy is the center of Nicole’s life and Leah just gets lost in those big arms. Although he tries to be a strict daddy some times, those three buggers have him wrapped around their little fingers, and instead of a discipline moment they somehow turn it into hug’s a tickle moment!!!!

Like every marriage we do have our tense moments, but just one hug fixes everything (and im sure he knows it)

Today I live my life with no regrets; I have three beautiful daughters and the most amazing husband, who understands and supports and believes in me. We help each other through good and bad times and we learn and grow together each day, He always asks me how much I love him and I often tease him by saying “ I love you so much I would use my last cash to build a ramp in the front of our house for his wheel chair!!! Because im going to grow gracefully old with you”

We have had many people say that we wouldn’t last 3 years… well it’s been 6 years so far and im looking forward to 600 more!!!!!!!!!!

So Ashley Kay… what more can I say other than I love you more than you will ever know and im so happy to have you in my life.

Happy Birthday and Happy Fathers day my love.

From your girls

Charmaine, Simone, Nicole and Leah (daddies little chop)

Thanks to my Dad

I have been wondering what I could write about the for the past few days and I thought seeing as we have Father’s Day and a birthday (Ashley’s) approaching, why not do a “dad thing” and make this a Daddy and Granddads’ dedication post!!!!!

I’m going to start with Granddad better known as Pa to my girls.

I must tell you that this is a very emotional subject for me. I don’t think there will ever be a way that I can thank my father for what he has done for me in my life.

During those crazy teenage years, I must have been every parent’s nightmare!!!! It’s no use trying to fool you, but I was one of those hardheaded girls who thought that she knew everything there was to know about life, as do most teenagers.

My dad worked hard to support us and to provide us with only the best in life. If we wanted something he would do his best to try and get it for us. Basically, he did what most parents try to do and that is to provide their child with their heart’s desire.

Not only did my Dad provide a stable “material” background for us to grow up in but he and of course my Mom provided us with the absolute ideal environment in which to thrive – a stable home-life. For this I am truly grateful. In fact, I don’t recall a moment in my life when I ever heard my parents fighting. This loving stable home set me on the path to providing me with the tools I have today, in order to deal with whatever life throws my way insofar as my own family is concerned.

During those teenage years my dad and I never really had a relationship wherein we could discuss things freely. Often my siblings and I would find ourselves using my mom as a mediator – to get to Dad. Not because we feared him as much as it was because we feared disappointing him.

With this in mind, I want to share this story with you.

I met a guy when I was 16 years old, I thought this was it; he is the best thing that had happened to me. I hid the relationship from my parents, because they felt I was too young to have a serious relationship. Also, I hid it because I was a teenager and “wanted” my own way. When my parents discovered my escapades they warned me against the relationship but as usual I knew better.

To cut a long story short when I turned 19 ……I discovered I was pregnant. My so-called relationship with my baby’s father which was at this stage was one of 4 years, ended abruptly when he told me that I was on my own with the baby.

All I could hear were my mother’s words.
“He is going to leave you when you need him the most”

How right she was and now I had to face the music on my own.

My biggest dilemma was that I had to break the news to my parents.

On the day that I planned to tell my parents, my biggest fear was my father’s reaction when I broke the news to them. My parents had always tried to raise us to have high principles and morals and by being pregnant out of marriage this would have been the worst thing I could have done to them. In fact I felt that I had put my whole family to shame and I thought my Dad was going to turn his back on me and say, “I told you but you did not listen to me”.
Imagine my surprise when he put his arms around me instead and wept, and promised to look after me and the baby no matter what. He promised that we would stick together because that’s what families do. Families love unconditionally.

That night changed my relationship with my Dad forever. I realized how lucky I was to have such an understanding father, and wept wondering why all these years we had avoided going to him. It just shows you – those that you think wont understand you are usually the ones that are always there for you.

The night I went into labor with Simone my dad put me in the car and drove through the night trying to take my mind off the pain.

I still recall him peeping through my bedroom door at home just to see how I was handling the pain situation.

When I got home from hospital, there were new covers on my bed, nappies, milk even flowers in my room. My life was filled with love and total acceptance.

My dad became Simon’s dad. He accepted all the responsibility a father has for raising a baby except he was now raising his first grandaughter. To help me grow further as a person and to ensure that I could take care of myself later in life, Dad allowed me to stay home for a year. My parents helped to raise my baby – and me of course, right alongside her. It was during this time that I became interested in a nail technicians course and he offered to pay for my tuition so that I could become skilled and find employment. I am now a certified educator in this field.

If it was not for my Dad I would not be were I am today.

My dad still takes my girls to school everyday and picks then up in the afternoons, He spoils them rotten whenever there’s an opportunity. They love to go with pa to the shop, and Nicole just love going with him to the bank………he has to be the most patient granddad in the world to deal with those three buggers.

My dad has been a key element in my life, I can’t think of a time that he has ever said “no” to me, and I don’t think there are words to express how much I appreciate everything he has done and is STILL doing for me today.

Happy fathers day dad……..

from your daughter Charmaine

and granddaughters

Simone, Nicole and Leah.

The art of “mommy ” translation

The past few days has been quiet in the Kay household, which is not a bad thing but it does become a bit of a worry when you need to update your blog and there is not much to update about!!!!

It has become reality to me that Leah is no longer a “baby” as in wrap in a blanket and cuddle and squeeze “baby” I think it is safe to say she has graduated to toddler as in run around , don’t want the blanket, pull off my clothing and touch and reprogram the television toddler. She tries to repeat most words, and even though no other person can decipher what she is asking for I have mastered the art of translating baby babble for example, Leah is on an antihistamine medication as she has a few allergies to deal with, we administers her medication at the same time every morning, I would usually call her and say “ Hey! Its Medi time open wide” the other morning I was in a bit of a rush Leah was tottering around and shouting “MESHI TIE” over and over, in my rush something suddenly twigged with the familiarity of the sound, and the whole house hold came to a holt because it dawned on me the “Meshi tie” was actually “Medi Time”, and “OODIE” IS “Foodie” and just plane “ Hmmm” for hungry and “Ha-wow” is hello there are lots more word sounds but those are the most spoken few.

The next accomplishment we are currently working on is the issue of sleep, Leah has never been a sleeper and I worried that she will never be a sleeper. Since the day she was born she slept on my chest and today she finds it much more comfy to sleep in our bed (yes, yes so I know im to blame) but at the same time our whole experience with Leah was different and I guess it was only natural of me to be overprotective, to watch her breathing while she slept ………….heck I was so paranoid after her birth I did not want other people to pick her up,   let alone hold her!!!!………………………………. so after some consultations with a sleep therapist she informed us that Leah needs to learn to how to fall asleep on her own then we will train her to sleep through the night, because little miss still wakes up 3-6 times during the night. I have to admit I am a bit skeptical of this whole “project sleep” im about to work on, but at the same time we have nothing to loose but more sleep!!!

So I leave you with some pictures of Leah’s favorite sleeping spots….

Leah’s first “accommodation space” duration of stay….. 40 weeks


Notice Leah’s bed in the background………… duration of this sleep spot, about 4 days…..

Enjoying the comfort of mom and dads bed occupation period 17 months and still counting……

Daddy……… no…. daddy had no part in my sleeping drama ( hmmmmmm well maybe not a big part)

One of Leahs favorite places to sleep actually the only place where Leah wants to sleep ….

Not so happy place……… my cot

The number 1 spot has to be….