I have been wondering what I could write about the for the past few days and I thought seeing as we have Father’s Day and a birthday (Ashley’s) approaching, why not do a “dad thing” and make this a Daddy and Granddads’ dedication post!!!!!
I’m going to start with Granddad better known as Pa to my girls.
I must tell you that this is a very emotional subject for me. I don’t think there will ever be a way that I can thank my father for what he has done for me in my life.
During those crazy teenage years, I must have been every parent’s nightmare!!!! It’s no use trying to fool you, but I was one of those hardheaded girls who thought that she knew everything there was to know about life, as do most teenagers.
My dad worked hard to support us and to provide us with only the best in life. If we wanted something he would do his best to try and get it for us. Basically, he did what most parents try to do and that is to provide their child with their heart’s desire.
Not only did my Dad provide a stable “material” background for us to grow up in but he and of course my Mom provided us with the absolute ideal environment in which to thrive – a stable home-life. For this I am truly grateful. In fact, I don’t recall a moment in my life when I ever heard my parents fighting. This loving stable home set me on the path to providing me with the tools I have today, in order to deal with whatever life throws my way insofar as my own family is concerned.
During those teenage years my dad and I never really had a relationship wherein we could discuss things freely. Often my siblings and I would find ourselves using my mom as a mediator – to get to Dad. Not because we feared him as much as it was because we feared disappointing him.
With this in mind, I want to share this story with you.
I met a guy when I was 16 years old, I thought this was it; he is the best thing that had happened to me. I hid the relationship from my parents, because they felt I was too young to have a serious relationship. Also, I hid it because I was a teenager and “wanted” my own way. When my parents discovered my escapades they warned me against the relationship but as usual I knew better.
To cut a long story short when I turned 19 ……I discovered I was pregnant. My so-called relationship with my baby’s father which was at this stage was one of 4 years, ended abruptly when he told me that I was on my own with the baby.
All I could hear were my mother’s words.
“He is going to leave you when you need him the most”
How right she was and now I had to face the music on my own.
My biggest dilemma was that I had to break the news to my parents.
On the day that I planned to tell my parents, my biggest fear was my father’s reaction when I broke the news to them. My parents had always tried to raise us to have high principles and morals and by being pregnant out of marriage this would have been the worst thing I could have done to them. In fact I felt that I had put my whole family to shame and I thought my Dad was going to turn his back on me and say, “I told you but you did not listen to me”.
Imagine my surprise when he put his arms around me instead and wept, and promised to look after me and the baby no matter what. He promised that we would stick together because that’s what families do. Families love unconditionally.
That night changed my relationship with my Dad forever. I realized how lucky I was to have such an understanding father, and wept wondering why all these years we had avoided going to him. It just shows you – those that you think wont understand you are usually the ones that are always there for you.
The night I went into labor with Simone my dad put me in the car and drove through the night trying to take my mind off the pain.
I still recall him peeping through my bedroom door at home just to see how I was handling the pain situation.
When I got home from hospital, there were new covers on my bed, nappies, milk even flowers in my room. My life was filled with love and total acceptance.
My dad became Simon’s dad. He accepted all the responsibility a father has for raising a baby except he was now raising his first grandaughter. To help me grow further as a person and to ensure that I could take care of myself later in life, Dad allowed me to stay home for a year. My parents helped to raise my baby – and me of course, right alongside her. It was during this time that I became interested in a nail technicians course and he offered to pay for my tuition so that I could become skilled and find employment. I am now a certified educator in this field.
If it was not for my Dad I would not be were I am today.
My dad still takes my girls to school everyday and picks then up in the afternoons, He spoils them rotten whenever there’s an opportunity. They love to go with pa to the shop, and Nicole just love going with him to the bank………he has to be the most patient granddad in the world to deal with those three buggers.
My dad has been a key element in my life, I can’t think of a time that he has ever said “no” to me, and I don’t think there are words to express how much I appreciate everything he has done and is STILL doing for me today.
Happy fathers day dad……..
from your daughter Charmaine
Simone, Nicole and Leah.