Its been a week of utter stress, the whole family except me were down with tonsillitis, I was hoping Leah would skip the bug ,and i was pumping her with immune boosters but, no such luck, here little voices is gone and she is running a fever, my work wont allow me time off to nurse her back to health, so tomorrow morning at 7:30 I have to pluck my sleeping baby from her warm bed put her in the car, take the girls to school then drop her off at my mom,only to hear her crying as I leave, because as you know Babies feel much better when they have their moms around them especially when they are ill.
My mind has been a bit of a mudded up mess for the past few days, I have been doing lots of thinking as to what future my kids have in South Africa, I love this country with all my heart, it has to be the most beautiful place on earth, but what is the use of beauty when it is stained with aggressive violance, especially against children, where else have you heard of raping an 8 month old baby!!!! and getting an 9 month prison sentence??? I never thought I would say this but the future does not seem bright at all, especially for Leah. Im tired of people staring at her . I had a grown woman laughing at the size of her head in a grocery store……..all of this and more is turning me into something im not I find that I am becoming more angry as each day passes, I can actually feel the rage boiling inside of me,. Recently I overheard a college joking and referring to Little people as “freaky midgets” and in the same breath she then says, how much her daughter loves “MIDGETS” because she thinks they are cute, and she would love a picture of Leah so her friends can see what a “MIDGET “baby looks like . My reply to her remarks left the office in silence….. and one person said that could not believe that I could explode in such a big way. I’m so tired of explanations all I want to do is get on with life, and I what Leah and Nicole and Simone to get on with life.
Things are going from bad to worse in Beautiful South Africa, some might say its getting better, but not from were I stand, its got lots of growing to do….. especially for kids with disabilities, they are still hiding in the shadows because society finds it hard to accept them.
I was the one who wanted to stay 5 years ago when my husband asked us to leave because I believed things would get better, and could not bear to be away from my mom and dad and sisters and brother they are my family, but now I realize, this is my family now ,and I have to protect them even if it means I have to let go of a piece of my heart ,so I’m considering Leaving South Africa to start a new life for my family.