Anger, frustration, exhaustion……………. just a few of the emotions I have been encountering lately, and not to mention guilt. “Guilt”? you may ask, and I say yes and lots of it, why? because for the last couple of days or weeks I have had a rush of all the above emotions surging through me.
I felt like I was failing as a mother, I felt that I spend so much time with Leah that I don’t spend enough time with my two other girls, sometimes I get dinner done to late, I don’t get to read them a bedtime story because by the time I have time to do it they are already sleeping.Am I raising my girls the right way, with the right values, and enough life skills to be successful happy women one day, am I always there when they need me…. the list is endless, but today I realized that I have nothing to worry about……..
Nicole my soon to be 5 year old daughter, had started school for the first time last week, and when I asked her if she had made any friends, she told me she had just made one friend named Ashleigh, One friend?…………. I asked her if she had tried to make friends with the other kids, then she told me that the other kids wanted to be her friend, but they don’t want to be friends with Ashleigh, so she decided to just stick to the one friend named Ashleigh.
So for the past few days, we have had a daily report of our day at school with the new friend. So………… arrive at school this morning, Nicole asked me to walk her to her classroom, and as I open the class door I heard the teacher saying” its okay Ashleigh…. Nicole is hear” and this little girl with long black hair runs over to Nicole and puts her arms around her and says ” I’m so happy you are here, I thought I was going to be alone today” but as Ashleigh looked up, I saw that she had the most horrific scars on her forehead and her face seem slightly distorted, thats when the teacher explained to me that non of the other kids would play with her, because of her face.Ashleigh had been involved in a car accident which left her badly scared, and the kids were afraid of her, except Nicole.
As I walked away I started thinking that in all this time Nicole did not once mention that Ashleigh was different.My little girl saw past the scars and found her first best friend, and my heart is bursting with pride, because few people have such pure qualities, so after today I think its safe to say that I don’t think that I’m doing such a bad job at all……